hey all... been busy with work and hari raya.. eventhough didnt go out or celebrate, i still got loads of workloads. been having ot at work.. meaning, more money to come.. and more leaves to come.. hopefully im able to go on leave on december this year.. have not even confirm going where.. tot of going either with harnizah or with mai. still thinking.. hmmm if i go penang, i have to go with harnizah.. if i go kl, i can go with anyone.. can go with mai or harnizah or both! dunno.. still making decisions.. really wanted to go for enjoyable time and spend time without any family member.. i wanna have fun!
past few days, i quarrelled with harish and we have made decision to end the relationship with no regrets. i feel that the relationship at the rate we are going thru is not working and its wasting my time.
den suddenly a day after i end with harish, darwis daniel text me.. calling names which he used to call me.. tears of memories run down my cheeks.. the song Dambaan reminds me about him. the way i love him is never been erase out of my mind! i dunno why, i still love him. and because of this, i still cant forget him. i tend to think of him whenever i was in relationship with someone else. i just cannot forget darwis daniel. althugh he always said he misses me, but that cannot be true.. he's married! i rather be alone den having to be hurt by someone. i shouldnt have fall in love. cause everytime i did, i surely got hurt!!! either they get their own life or god loves him more!! i just hate being hurt over and over again. i just hope to settle down with someone who love me for wad im and not someone who wants to change me.
Hari raya? not for me.. i dun have anyone to celebrate with.. this year is the most unhappy hari raya for me. no darwis and danish. both of them celebrated with their new family member.. me? with noone! i occupy my time with work... killing time in office doing work so that i wont think about my unhappiness.
currently now in office.. writting this blog cause i really felt heavy. my mind full of things thats not supposed to be in there.. i guess i will end here or else i will have my cheeks wet of unhappiness tears...
till the next post...
Dya );
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